Crescent, Olympia (CLOSED now a supermarket)

I’m at (quote) ‘a luxurious new venue nestled between the bustling West End and media-centric Notting Hill’. Were this media soak en route from Soho to Portobello, he’d be hacked off if the cabbie did a lengthy dog-leg detour via West Kensington, home to Crescent Champagne Bar. Having opened late last year, any plans to feature lapdancers were scuppered by the good burghers of Hammersmith and Fulham’s stiff opposition to the prospect of lissom wenches gyrating in a manner deemed unfit for residential W14. Rooting around, I spot an expectant pole languishing unstraddled in an intimate private booth. By the looks of some of the sub-WAGgier elements at tonight’s ‘launch’ party, they’ll be on it like a rash should the licensing committee ever do a U-turn. Now a DJ bar cum night-club, Crescent looks classier than the Bianca Gascoigne wannabes posing provocatively, legs akimbo, on a chic sofa opposite us. They guzzle porn star martinis, the bar presumably out of their usual Lambrini. To be fair, the gaff is nicely tricked out, its £8 cocktails are impressive and the shampers ranges from Moët to ostentatious rapper accessory, Ace Of Spades Rosé at £800. As we leave, I’m offered free membership; might have been handy when I briefly inhabited this very street aeons ago but today......?

IMAGE: Wipe down seats in a pole dance lounge? Nice!


Crescent Champagne Bar, 3 North End Crescent W14 7603 2058